Home > Uncategorized > The Baillieu Somnolence, Act I, Scene II

The Baillieu Somnolence, Act I, Scene II

October 21, 2010 Leave a comment Go to comments
Baillieu Okay, listen up everyone.  Flinders St got the“where are your policies?” crowd off our back for a week or so, but we need something new.
Asher Must we, Ted?  This is tiresome beyond words.
Baillieu Tell me about it, Louise, but I am technically (air quotes) “leader” of this outfit so I need to be seen to be doing (air quotes) “something” in the realm of (air quotes) “policy”.  So stop complaining.  Ideas, people?
Hack #1 None.
Baillieu Really?
Hack #1 Pay peanuts get monkeys and all that.
Baillieu True.  Good point. Anyone else?
Hack #2 I’ve got a letter here.
Baillieu Go on.
Hack #2 It’s from the Principal of a Catholic School out in Pakenbourne or Frankham or somewhere.
Baillieu Is it in Victoria, though?
Hack #2 The post code starts with a 3.
Baillieu Well, that’s encouraging, Continue.
Hack #2 He says his school is slugged with a big development tax. $2.3 million apparently.
Baillieu Now, remind me.  $2.3 million is a lot of a money, right?
Asher For a school, yes.
Baillieu OK, great.  Carry on.
Hack #1 I think what my colleague and former classmate is saying is that we could promise to pay the $2.3 million for the school.
Baillieu Is that what you’re saying?
Hack #2 Well, yes, kind of.  We could replace the tax with another tax and make it seem like we are solving the problem.
Baillieu You mean like we’re (air quote) “solving the problem”.
Asher Ted, who taught you air-quotes?
Baillieu My kids.  Cool, right?  It makes politics so much easier.
Rural Hack There’s a problem, Ted.  We voted for the development tax.
Baillieu So?
Asher So, Ted, it makes us looks irresponsible and hypocritical.
Baillieu Stop using big words, Asher.  Honestly, they call me elitist.

Let’s do it.  Let’s (air quotes) “fix” this problem.

Much hilarity ensues.  



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