Home > Uncategorized > The Baillieu Somnolence, Act I, Scene I

The Baillieu Somnolence, Act I, Scene I

October 20, 2010 Leave a comment Go to comments
Baillieu Okay, listen up everyone.  We’ve been putting this off for 4 years.  The election is next month and we have to offer something in the way of policy.
Asher Do we have to?
Baillieu Louise, I don’t like this any more than you do, but yes – we have to.  Okay, any ideas?
Hack #1 Health policy?
Baillieu Too hard.
Hack #2 Infrastructure?
Baillieu Can’t quite wrap the old noggin around that one either.
Hack #1 Justice issues?
Baillieu (amid much hilarity) Haha, good one.
Hack #2 Water policy?
Baillieu Please.  Keep it decent. What do people like?  Let’s start there.
Asher Ice-cream?
Baillieu Yes, that’s good, Louise.  But we need to be more specific.  What do Melbourne people like?
Rural Hack Victorians, Ted.
Baillieu What? Oh yes!  Damn.  Victorians!  I have it written here on my palm and everything.  Ok, start again: what do Victorians like?
Hack #2 Footy?
Baillieu Good!  See, it’s easy.  We’re almost there.  Anything else?
Hack #1 Flinders St Station?  People like Flinders St Station, don’t they?
Baillieu Yes, Hack Number One! They bloody well do.  It provides an arresting vista en route to the Arts Centre and/or Southbank.
Asher It’s also used by commuters, Ted.  It’s something of a public transport hub.
Baillieu Louise, stop talking gibberish. Stay focussed. 

(Ted’s brow furrows, thinking time)

Ok, let’s throw some money at it.  All those in favour?

All Aye!
Baillieu OK, back to bed everyone.
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